1) It contrasts this New Labour government most favourably with the Tories. When sleaze after sleaze story was revealed under Major, he dithered and kept corrupt individuals in post, thus bringing shame upon our nation. Gordon and Peter have acted quickly and decisively to clear the air.
2) It will allow the media to turn its attention to the genuine scandals in today’s politics: Osborne’s undeclared Central Office funding and Cameron’s dodgy helicopter flights.
3) Peter’s resignation speech will be all over the media, and no one could fail to be moved to tears by the generous and heart-felt praise he gave the Government, the Labour Party, his civil servants, his family, his constituency party and his constituents. It will cement the idea in the public consciousness that all Labour MPs are all good people.
4) People will be reminded how Peter fought and overturned the evil regime of apartheid South Africa. Contrast with the Tories at the time who wore ‘Hang Nelson Mandela’ T-shirts!
5) The public have now seen that the anti-corruption legislation put in by Tony Blair and Gordon Brown is working perfectly – another triumph for them.
6) If the next Work and Pensions Secretary is not nearly as good as Peter Hain and people start losing their pensions because of it, then the masses will begin turning against papers like The Mail and websites like Guido Fawkes – deplorable scandal organs that succeed only in driving brilliant and dedicated ministers from office.
7) Plaid Cymru leader Elfyn Llwyd was most vocal in calling for Peter’s resignation. The Welsh are a loyal and goodly folk who loved their Secretary of State. This sort of petty opportunism from Llwyd can only result in a Labour resurgence in its Welsh heartlands.
8) The Tories’ Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary Chris Grayling is currently hogging our screens. He reminds voters of everything they disliked about William Hague: nasty, band-wagon jumping and bald.
9) Peter was brilliant as a back-bench MP. Now he’s returned to that role the Tories will be quaking in their boots.
10) Peter has a healthy and attractive tan, which will make us think ahead to our summer holidays, relieving all this winter gloom about world recessions and stock-market slumps.
2) It will allow the media to turn its attention to the genuine scandals in today’s politics: Osborne’s undeclared Central Office funding and Cameron’s dodgy helicopter flights.
3) Peter’s resignation speech will be all over the media, and no one could fail to be moved to tears by the generous and heart-felt praise he gave the Government, the Labour Party, his civil servants, his family, his constituency party and his constituents. It will cement the idea in the public consciousness that all Labour MPs are all good people.
4) People will be reminded how Peter fought and overturned the evil regime of apartheid South Africa. Contrast with the Tories at the time who wore ‘Hang Nelson Mandela’ T-shirts!
5) The public have now seen that the anti-corruption legislation put in by Tony Blair and Gordon Brown is working perfectly – another triumph for them.
6) If the next Work and Pensions Secretary is not nearly as good as Peter Hain and people start losing their pensions because of it, then the masses will begin turning against papers like The Mail and websites like Guido Fawkes – deplorable scandal organs that succeed only in driving brilliant and dedicated ministers from office.
7) Plaid Cymru leader Elfyn Llwyd was most vocal in calling for Peter’s resignation. The Welsh are a loyal and goodly folk who loved their Secretary of State. This sort of petty opportunism from Llwyd can only result in a Labour resurgence in its Welsh heartlands.
8) The Tories’ Shadow Work and Pensions Secretary Chris Grayling is currently hogging our screens. He reminds voters of everything they disliked about William Hague: nasty, band-wagon jumping and bald.
9) Peter was brilliant as a back-bench MP. Now he’s returned to that role the Tories will be quaking in their boots.
10) Peter has a healthy and attractive tan, which will make us think ahead to our summer holidays, relieving all this winter gloom about world recessions and stock-market slumps.
1 comment:
You ARE David Aaronovitch. Either that or his blubbery former self split like an amoeba. You'd be the more plausible half in that case.
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