Gold for Gordon.

It was great to learn of Gordon’s pledge that all school children will be doing five hours of sport a week by 2012. Not content with making us wealthier (through sustained economic growth) and cleverer (record investment in schools), Gordon is now making us healthier too. I went to a school sports day the other week, and as I watched the happy children running, leaping and throwing things, it struck me that athletic events serve as a beautiful metaphor for many of New Labour’s finest achievements. I wrote a poem about it:

I went to a school sports day and
It was great fun, in no way bland.
Running and jumping – all that jazz.
It was quite good, and I thought as
I watched the children leap and run
Of all the good that Labour’s done:
A lean high jumper made me think
Of high employment (that won’t sink),
A fit long-jumping little man,
The longest growth since time began.
The four-by-hundred relay brought
To mind another pleasant thought:
To see the baton smoothly passed
Back to last June my mind was cast
When Tony passed, without a frown,
The Labour leadership to Brown.
And then a javelin was thrown,
Which brought back memories all its own:
When Dave’s IHT plans appeared
And were by Gordon swiftly speared.
A burly boy a hammer hurled,
More apt analogies unfurled.
With ‘hammer’ if you get my gist,
I think of Gordon’s clunking fist.
And when the prizes were awarded
And all the winners loudly lauded
A wondrous insight did unfold:
With Labour we’re all medal winners: gold!