Neil was right all along.

You can’t blame David Miliband – his father was a great Marxist philosopher and David’s clearly doing the best with the hand he’s been dealt – but this unseemly spat with the great nation of Russia must break the heart of every self-respecting Labour MP and supporter. Russia is a proud, ancient, civilised nation, yet throughout the 1980s Britain went out of its way to stockpile nuclear weapons of death and point them at its brave and kindly people. We antagonised and alienated a country that should now be a good friend. How ironic too that the regime we sided with in the ‘Cold War’, the USA, should drag us into the violence and horror that is Iraq. And can you imagine the despair Neil Kinnock is feeling right now? He realized we allied ourselves with the wrong lot and was vilified for his troubles, but now his own family is suffering because of decisions made by other, lesser politicians. Of course, we all know who’s ultimately to blame for all this: Thatcher. Her grovelling to Reagan left a wicked legacy that is still doing us immeasurably damage to this day. Thatcher may have died politically years ago, but her ghost will continue to haunt us for years to come.

A poem for 'Dave'.

I’ve always admired Hilary Clinton. In many ways she reminds me of Gordon Brown: both were the driving forces behind astonishingly successful left-wing governments; both, despite being supreme political strategists, are people of astonishing depth, courage, determination and principle. Sadly, Barack Obama in comparison is looking increasingly like a lightweight PR professional devoid of substance and ideas. Does that remind you of anyone closer to home? I’ve not written a poem for ‘Dave’ before so here goes:

In the press a young toff name of Cameron
Generated something of a clamour. On
His views (what one knew about them):
Vapid tripe (let’s be true about them).
Empty guff that would turn B. Obama on.

Epistle to Simon Heffer.

Now that the inconsequential squall over Peter Hain’s donations has subsided I wasn’t planning to write about Peter for a bit. But then I saw this outrageous article in The Telegraph by Simon Heffer and I thought again. Heffer has the temerity to write that Peter’s ‘contribution to our good governance remains not even debatable: for most of us could not, for the life of us, start to imagine what real or illusory achievements he has that might be debated’. The first post I ever wrote on this blog contained an ‘Ode to Peter Hain’. I was so shocked and angered by Heffer’s rant that I decided to compose another verse recounting – with a Popean majesty of style – the life, works and struggles of this great man. Read it and weep Heffer. It shows that Peter has done more for public life than you and your nasty little columns ever will.

Hain was born in the land of the leaping gazelle,
But he saw that his country was not doing well,
So he joined with the Liberals and, acting with speed,
Saw that Nelson Mandela was from his jail freed.
Then to Putney Hain moved, far from racist white bullies,
But when buying some typewriter ribbon in Woolies
A quite brutal bank robbery took place nearby.
This was not what it seemed; it was something most sly –
The South African secret police had a plot:
To incriminate Hain so in prison he’d rot,
And though this was the act of a look-alike grim
At the ID parade two small schoolboys picked him.
It was David Steel though who backed Hain to the hilt
And thus Hain was emphatically cleared of all guilt.

And next Hain, now he’d cut his political teeth,
Was elected MP for New Labour in Neath.
In the FO he served and showed how it was right
For Gibraltar and Spain to make peace and unite.
And his next job was Ulster in which he excelled –
To abandon armed struggle Sinn Fein was compelled.
All the murderings ceased, life was not at all tough,
And McGuinness and Paisley can’t praise him enough.
Then the crisis in pensions of us he did rid,
And he then launched a deputy leadership bid.
And Prime Minister Brown from the rooftops did shout,
‘Peter Hain is a chap I could ne’er do without!’

The beginning of the end of Thatcherism.

I am deeply amused by the theory that the imminent nationalization of Northern Rock is some desperate, last-ditch measure which Gordon and Alistair have been forced into by events. The exact opposite is true. Consider one incontrovertible fact: Gordon Brown is the master political strategist of his generation with the spirit of True Labour running through his veins. With this in mind it becomes clear what a masterstroke the whole Northern Rock ‘debacle’ really is. Nationalize Northern Rock; show the country that the state can do a far better job of running such an institution than private businessmen; then – with the public on side and the intellectual argument won – the process can commence of bringing the entirety of British industry into public ownership. First the banking and financial services can become state owned; then the family silver given away by Thatcher – BT, British Gas, British Airways etc. – will return to their rightful home. Finally the government can acquire and manage all private and foreign-owned companies. The delicious consequence of this is that it would totally demoralize the Tories. Everything they fought for in the 1980s would unravel before their eyes and they probably wouldn’t have the motivation to hold office ever again. Gordon Brown really does never cease to amaze!

Peter Hain's great nature (part 3).

Tears of felicity welled in my eyes as I watched Peter Hain give his robust and eloquent refutation to the vindictive charges of sleaze that have distracted him over the last few days. Thank goodness that’s over, I thought to myself. Now perhaps we can let the man get on with adding yet more political triumphs to his already formidable list of achievements: a free and just South Africa, a peaceful and prosperous Northern Ireland, a fair and generous pension system. Sadly, professional snipers like David Cameron were soon popping up to complain that Peter’s statement was incomplete and that questions remained unanswered. It suddenly struck me that Cameron is playing an extremely dangerous game here: if we get into the situation where politicians have to explain every nuisance and disclose every fact then aren’t we finally conceding that the bond of trust between the people and their rulers has been irrevocably severed? In a healthy democracy we wouldn’t expect our statesmen to feel obliged to justify every action – their basic assurance that nothing was amiss would be enough. I think Peter appreciates this: had he been too punctilious in defending himself he would have looked like some guttersnipe pleading his case from the dock, not a gifted and respected minister whose behaviour is beyond rebuke. That deep, almost mystical, sense of veneration we the people feel towards those who lead us is something that should be cherished and preserved. And all the time good men like Peter Hain are in office, it just might be.

Peter Hain's great nature (part 2).

I found myself literarily blushing with admiration and pride when I learnt that one of Peter Hain’s undeclared financial contributors is a certain Isaac Kaye. Mr Kaye was a supporter of the pro-Apartheid National Party in South Africa, and his company was raided by the police on suspicion of defrauding the NHS. Now Peter, as we know, was one of the leading freedom fighters against Apartheid and his party, Labour, have invested billions in the NHS to make it the finest health service in the world. The fact that Peter could take donations from someone with Mr Kaye’s history really shows what a forgiving, kind and charitable man Peter is. Clearly Peter does not hold petty grudges about other people, so neither should we about him.

Peter Hain's great nature.

One can feel nothing but the deepest sympathy for Peter Hain over this sad business of his undeclared donations. It is clear from this piece by the BBC that the responsibility lies not with Peter but the useless administrators he employed in his office. Now, if Peter were a cold, nasty, exploitative, ruthless Tory he would doubtless have sacked these employees at the first sign of their incompetence and saved himself all this bother. However, all Labour MPs are good people. They despise the scourge of unemployment and would never condemn someone to the dole queue even in the most extreme circumstances. I suspect Peter gave these nincompoops on his staff chance after chance to get things right, but on each occasion they threw his good will back in his face and continued their deplorable bungling. Instead of condemning Peter we should be celebrating the fact that we have a man of such patience and forgiveness in public life. Peter Hain is the victim of his own impeccable nature.